TIS: Final

I finished!!! 

what went well:

• I think I really took my time with the painting of this finished thing, as well as the planning of it. I think that comes through in the quality and craftsmanship of the final piece like the edges are crisp and the colours/shapes are really defined there's not mistakes or anything. I think as well, because I tested and roughed so much the colours are cool. I'm not sure if they're exactly what I was going for, like I feel like this piece is a lot different from my testing. but maybe that's good?  the blues to me are very magical and nighttime-y and soft and whimsical. and the yellow and reds give a sense of something going on like urgency or intrigue or something. like the yellow is so warm and bright it gives life, the moon shining is like OOOO!!!
• I LOVE that this is analogue. I think it had to be, this piece is so about sensitivity and magic and love and mystery that I feel like you have to have the real thing that I've spent time on. like the thick watercolour paper needs to be there, and also being able to see the paint texture vs the china marker texture is important to giving it depth and sensitivity. 
• I think the shovel is a subtle way to create mystery, way better than a figure or animal. I think I loved some of my other ideas of wolves and women and fires, but maybe they were too harsh. like I feel the use of those things makes people think of a narrative and a specific person, where as this is more elusive and interpretable which is what I wanted. but I still like those other ideas, I wanna save them for something else. something more just about me myself, not me and my practice.

what could b better:

• as always, I'm kind of let down my the final piece. I'm not sure why this happens every time lmao, I feel like maybe it's because I enjoy the testing and trying and figuring stuff out more? like a final piece is so rigid and FINAL that I feel like it's so hard to get it just right. when you're testing everything's more free and fun and possible. also I think I always have such high hopes for all my work, when like it's only first year I'm probably not gunna love everything I do because I'm learning a lot and changing a lot. I just feel like I'm having this struggle atm with knowing what's actually good. I feel like I always listen to the feedback I get, but sometimes I feel like the stupid messy original idea I had is just the best thing, even though it's not refined and tried and considered as much. like with this project I feel like this piece is so considered and tested that it's moved away from the original intent maybe? idk I'm confused about it. like for example comparing my final piece to these pieces.

 

• these pieces aren't as considered or tried out but I like them more. they make me more excited, I'd much rather have them on my wall than the final piece. so why is the final piece that I've spent more time and energy and thought on better? I feel childish liking these things better but I definitely do, so why? what's in them that isn't in that other piece that is the culmination of all my ideas and work and time? 
• sometimes I feel like the random raw stuff that comes out my head is better, but then I look at the final and I can tell image making wise it's more refined and sophisticated and it looks like a more eloquent version of these pieces. but I like these more!!! do I just have bad taste? maybe it's because the final piece is subtle, I think it succeeds in being subtle but maybe I don't like subtle work. I think I've been trying to make work that's really soft and elegant and mysterious, when maybe I want mysterious work that's a bit more punch and zingy and has more action. because I think all of these pieces are mysterious and magical, but in different ways. 
• the final seems more human, these 2 pieces seem more fantasy and like they exist somewhere else. like my final piece seems like it could have happened, it's a scene in a murder mystery. these 2 pieces seem more like they're in game of thrones or something. I think sometimes the hardest thing is being able to realise these changes in what you want and how you feel about your work and just accept them and work with them.