STUDY TASK 2

BLOODMILK JEWELS

• bespoke/hand crafted jewellery company. victorian/mourning/witchy/gothic style.
• tertiary sector. started by one person (freelance practitioner). presents business as one person rather than a company. social media presence in first person, very personal. 
• involved in retail service. fashion/design/photography.

EVIE MAY ADAMS (CERAMICS)

• illustrator translating work onto ceramics.
• tertiary sector. freelance practitioner. selling one off objects.
• also works with retail shops/businesses to collaborate on branding/packaging (e.g. candles)
• retail industry. sells herself and also through other businesses. focus on homeware/lifestyle.

INKWELL ARTS

• quaternary sector (charity providing cultural and educational events)
• focus on mental heath and arts, being a safe space, providing exhibitions, community events, classes and a cafe
• in collaboration with Leeds Mind

CREEPYYEHA

• bespoke/handmade lingerie/garments. high quality materials and tailoring, BDSM/bondage/gothic style.
• tertiary sector. freelance practitioner owns this business. social media is first person/she models/writes/makes/ships/ect. creepyyeha/yeha leung is a person and a brand. 
• worn by celebrities, almost 300k instagram followers.
• involved in retail service. fashion/design/photography/visual arts/film and music industry.
• SUCCESSFUL- high quality products and well cultivated brand image. large community audience, seeing someone wearing these pieces really defines them as a person. work is INCREDIBLY recognisable. use of social media furthers the brand, promotes the items and secures the aesthetic you buy into. celebrity customers introduce work into film/art/music/other forms of art and media. 

THE EXPLORERS PRESS

• pin/patches/accessories lifestyle brand. travelling/'wanderlust'/outdoor/explorer aesthetic.
• tertiary sector. creative team/business, all social media is presented as a group, no one person/persona. 
• retail industry. fashion/homeware/lifestyle/outdoor activities/film/video/photography.
• SUCCESSFUL- branding is cohesive, when buying these items you are also buying a lifestyle/a motto/a way of living. items fits the ethos of brand and also the aesthetic of the ethos/brand. 

STUDY TASK 1

I'm enjoying testing, making varied work, trying new things but I also want to refine, hone in, and start creating a collection of work that is MINE and has a specific look/feel/style/purpose. I keep searching for a 'style' for reassurance, even though I know this is fickle and unhelpful. My work is, at the forefront; emotive, magical, focused on the mysterious and unseen. Storytelling is key, I should ignore style and focus on finding those things in the shadows that I want to find, and revealing them in my work. 

PPP OUIL402 Evaluation

TIS: Final Presentation

Here's my final presentation slides for hand in.

TIS: Final

I finished!!! 

what went well:

• I think I really took my time with the painting of this finished thing, as well as the planning of it. I think that comes through in the quality and craftsmanship of the final piece like the edges are crisp and the colours/shapes are really defined there's not mistakes or anything. I think as well, because I tested and roughed so much the colours are cool. I'm not sure if they're exactly what I was going for, like I feel like this piece is a lot different from my testing. but maybe that's good?  the blues to me are very magical and nighttime-y and soft and whimsical. and the yellow and reds give a sense of something going on like urgency or intrigue or something. like the yellow is so warm and bright it gives life, the moon shining is like OOOO!!!
• I LOVE that this is analogue. I think it had to be, this piece is so about sensitivity and magic and love and mystery that I feel like you have to have the real thing that I've spent time on. like the thick watercolour paper needs to be there, and also being able to see the paint texture vs the china marker texture is important to giving it depth and sensitivity. 
• I think the shovel is a subtle way to create mystery, way better than a figure or animal. I think I loved some of my other ideas of wolves and women and fires, but maybe they were too harsh. like I feel the use of those things makes people think of a narrative and a specific person, where as this is more elusive and interpretable which is what I wanted. but I still like those other ideas, I wanna save them for something else. something more just about me myself, not me and my practice.

what could b better:

• as always, I'm kind of let down my the final piece. I'm not sure why this happens every time lmao, I feel like maybe it's because I enjoy the testing and trying and figuring stuff out more? like a final piece is so rigid and FINAL that I feel like it's so hard to get it just right. when you're testing everything's more free and fun and possible. also I think I always have such high hopes for all my work, when like it's only first year I'm probably not gunna love everything I do because I'm learning a lot and changing a lot. I just feel like I'm having this struggle atm with knowing what's actually good. I feel like I always listen to the feedback I get, but sometimes I feel like the stupid messy original idea I had is just the best thing, even though it's not refined and tried and considered as much. like with this project I feel like this piece is so considered and tested that it's moved away from the original intent maybe? idk I'm confused about it. like for example comparing my final piece to these pieces.

 

• these pieces aren't as considered or tried out but I like them more. they make me more excited, I'd much rather have them on my wall than the final piece. so why is the final piece that I've spent more time and energy and thought on better? I feel childish liking these things better but I definitely do, so why? what's in them that isn't in that other piece that is the culmination of all my ideas and work and time? 
• sometimes I feel like the random raw stuff that comes out my head is better, but then I look at the final and I can tell image making wise it's more refined and sophisticated and it looks like a more eloquent version of these pieces. but I like these more!!! do I just have bad taste? maybe it's because the final piece is subtle, I think it succeeds in being subtle but maybe I don't like subtle work. I think I've been trying to make work that's really soft and elegant and mysterious, when maybe I want mysterious work that's a bit more punch and zingy and has more action. because I think all of these pieces are mysterious and magical, but in different ways. 
• the final seems more human, these 2 pieces seem more fantasy and like they exist somewhere else. like my final piece seems like it could have happened, it's a scene in a murder mystery. these 2 pieces seem more like they're in game of thrones or something. I think sometimes the hardest thing is being able to realise these changes in what you want and how you feel about your work and just accept them and work with them. 

TIS: Development

I really struggled to finalise my ideas for the final a2 piece, but I think the process of working through my ideas was really helpful. I was trying to find the best colours to evoke the feeling I wanted in my piece, and while it took a while to find them I think it was important to test this a lot. I'm glad I spent a lot of time on my testing and roughing in this brief because I feel this is the most important bit of the project. 

I think in this brief I've really played with colour and shape the most, which is quite outside what I normally do. I'm really pleased because I feel like I'm discovering new ways of working and image making that is really fun and exciting for me. I also enjoy all the testing because it's really interesting to see how small changes can change how a piece can come off/feel, and being able to figure this out in my sketchbook os helpful. I did get quite overwhelmed with all my options at one point, sometimes its hard to see the wood for the trees (what a good pun lmao).

 

It was also really nice to be doing a lot of full bleed tests in my book, I feel like I got a good understanding of my media this way as I could see what things would really look like at this size. Also it feels like I was able to experiment with loads of different ideas, like the full bleed tests were messy and loose but still good at representing a possible idea for the final. My final plan turned out quite different in colour from all my other pieces, but I feel like it's nice to see that progression to the final piece. The colour scheme I ended with seemed way more magical and whimsical because of the snowy blues, but I loved getting that bright red in there to contrast that.

TIS: Final Presentation Notes

PRESENTATION NOTES

slide 2: I want to start off by talking about the most important things I've learned this year that have really affected my practice.

slide 3: The first thing is that finding a ‘style’ as an illustrator doesnt matter. before the course id sort of found this style and everyone around me really loved it and so did i.

slide 4: it was lines and black and white and intense. i thought id come on the course and id really work on it and hone in on my style and that would be it.

slide 5: but thats really limiting and boring and isn't very fun. i realised it was more important to try lots of new things instead of just stick to this. i think i think of style now as something to consider when thinking about tone of voice, and what you want your work to evoke. not just taking one style and applying to everything, like hey this me and ill never change. the way you draw should be always be a process, and you trying to find the best thing for that concept or idea or piece of work.

slide 6: because i drew so much in that style i started to realise that i thought in outlines of things and thats really interesting to me. i thought in lines, so when it came to illustrator or super shaped work i really struggled because my head didn't think like that when i was working out images. I'm pleased that because I've been trying lots of new stuff I'm starting to see things differently and think in new ways.

slide 7: sketchbooks are super important. my sketchbooks used to have a final piece on every page and were super important because i wanted them to be beautiful, but that means they weren't helpful. my sketchbooks are way more messy now and i use them for figuring things out. matt told us to think of drawing as a way to think, and i really liked that and i feel like i use that as a key thing in my practice now.

slide 8: which like i experiment and work through my ideas on paper not in my head now. I'm pleased my sketchbook is so helpful now, instead of just being pretty. i never used to make work that could be bad because i knew it wouldn't look good so i avoided that. but making work that looks good isn't really illustration to me anymore. it’s more about problem solving with image making, and aesthetics come into that but it’s more about intent and audience and the best way to communicate an idea to someone, in which ur using images to do so. i think tbh i just learnt what illustration was, because before the course i was just drawing really in maybe a bit of an illustrative way.

slide 9: because I'm working like this i make ugly, weird, bad work a lot. and i really like it! it makes me happy because when i see ugly work i see progress and thinking and working through a problem. i think if you never do something yourself you'll never be bad at it, and you'll never be able to get good at it. i think works with drawing, if you don't know the best way to do something or to say what you want to say you have to try. also in making bad work or work i didn't intent to make, i find weird new things i like. trying stuff always leads to new ideas and new ways of thinking which is great!!

slide 10: so persons of note. i got ada lovelace, she was a mathematician but i loved her childhood, where she had a fascination with flying and birds and she was imaginative and dreamy but still super intelligent and thinking about these lovely magical things in a scientific way. i got great feedback on this piece everyone said it did what it was meant to, it communicated that dreamy wistful wanting to fly with a bit of science in there, so i was happy. i think it’s successful, but its not work i want to make again. i don't like how it looks, i didn't love making it i think i loved the learning i got from this brief more. i really found out what i want my personal work to be, and thats really important.

slide 11: so i was my work to be symbolic and magical and mysterious.

slide 12: ive always known i like these things but it took working on it, and drawing it to find out what i definitely wanted. these pieces are from my sketchbook so they're not amazing or right, but they're working through how i want to communicate that idea and what the best way to do that is. I'm excited to see me working through how to communicate wildness, mystery, magic childhood nostalgia, fantasy. 

slide 13: i think i’m finding out really what i want my work to be, so thats kind of the main thing i want to be continuing next year. i want to evoke this childlike wonder like that feeling when you're little and anything and can anything because you don’t know the limits of anything yet. like theres monsters in the shadows and the moon is a mans face and fire is dancing and stuff like that.

slide 14: i want to push my work to be more sophisticated and have a strong tone of voice, so that its communicating these things but subtly and maybe quietly and isn't super drawn out by character or narrative. i want world building and storytelling but not in a super linear, spelt out way. me and jamie had a convo about where i see my work, like in editorial or on objects or what and I'm really not sure yet, I'm still very early on so I'm open to a lot n i hope i get a better understanding of like where my practice and my work falls into real life illustration and everything like that. 

TIS: Presentation

So I really wasn't comfortable with my presentation because it was really plain and ugly and weird. I went through my points and just really simplified them so I could make it snappier and make sure I could get all the important bits it. I think in making it look more illustrative n fun I feel more comfy, I've included some of my main points written on the slides to make it easier to follow as well. I think I've summed up my most like transformative moments of the year well, I'm quite excited for my presentation tbh. My slides look like this now and I'm quite into it, I'm definitely in the 8 mins without having not enough to say so I'm happy bout that too, I should get to the 8 mins easy.

TIS: Presentation Draft

I put together my first draft at my slides/notes for my presentation so I can time it/change it/whatever.

things i wanna say:

used to care bout style, do not now style is cba

ugly sketchbook is a useful sketchbook

learning to think through drawing, thumbnail, plan, test

persons of note, success and failures

finding what i want my work to be

what i want more of: personal projects, more engagement in things to influence work

more me in my work, more thinking

slide 1: I think I need to start with how my practice was before first year, over the summer when I’ve finished Foundation. I was pushing myself to draw everyday so I could post on instagarm everyday. I was comparing myself to fully fledged illustrators online who have audiences and consistent bodies of work and I thought I needed to get to that (which is crazy)

slide 2: So I was trying to evolve this style, I was very style orientated because I perceived that as like the most important thing in your practice as an illustrator. all my work looked like this, heavy line work and super focused on mark making and no colour and very flat and busy and exhausting to make tbh. I loved it at the time but I can’t do it now.

slide 3: I’m really pleased I was making zines at this time, and this was super fun and I was trying really hard but I’m really glad this ISN’T THE WAY I WORK ANYMORE. pushing yourself to always have content to post online is exhaustive and really limiting. I wouldn’t experiment because I didn’t know if it would be ‘good enough’ to post. every sketchbook page was a finished piece, and that just ends up being an exercise in making a pretty book, but not in actually growing or improving at all really.

slide 4: I still draw like this sometimes, but now it’s just for fun and when I need to dump my brain on a page. it’s more like meditative drawing or my way of doodling. I think the most important change that’s happened in my practice this year is the way I use my sketchbook and think about style. I don’t care about finding a style anymore. I realised I could either spend the three years drawings the same things, and I’d improve those things, or I could stop being stubborn and take the three years as an opportunity to try everything and test and experiment and grow. I think it’s way more fun and way better for my practice this way. 

slide 5: now my sketchbooks look like this. I do a bit of everything, I’m a voracious thumb nailer and sketchbook-er and I really proud myself on how much I draw now. matt always says to use drawing as a way to think, and I think that’s what I use drawing as now. it’s less about pure image making, and more about testing and repeating and figuring out my problems and ideas. the way I draw now is more like play or research or investigation, rather than just making pretty things.

another key thing that i’ve learnt this year is to embrace ugly/bad/weird drawings. i’m excited to make terrible things, to have sketchbooks that look awful, to make mistakes, to draw things badly. i used to throw away anything i didn’t like. now i see ‘failed’ drawings as a step in the process of finding success in your work. the more bad stuff i make, the closer i get to ‘good’ work. in doing this i also found an aesthetic of work i really like, that i never used to care about. now my favourite work is weird and blocky and blobby and looks strange, but it’s my favourite thing.

slide 6: the persons of note brief was i think my most successful work, and the brief in which i learned the most. me and matt had some really good conversations, and i kind of figured out what i want my work to be, how i define success, what i want to evoke out of people, and what i DONT want. these pieces were about ada lovelace, she was a mathematician but had some really interesting history and ways of thinking. i wanted to capture her dreaminess and her scientific yet imaginative way of thinking. the feedback i got for this way really great, it was the first time everyone seemed to get the vibe i was putting out really well and everything was understood easily and people liked it. but i never want to make this work ever again. I'm really proud of the work i did on this brief, the learning i got, but i’m also pleased i got a better understanding of my practice in there too. i found out i really want my work to be subtle and interpretable, not too heavy with dialogue or explanation. i want to be good at world building, and storytelling but in a way that might not have named characters or a linear story. i like work that gives of a vibe, that evokes a feeling of mystery and wonder and adventure and excitement, but also sensitivity and honesty and sentimentality. i love fantasy, i love evoking that kind of childlike unknowing excitement about life and everything. that nostalgia for being little and thinking theres monsters in the shadows and that the moon is a big man face or whatever. i think this piece was successful, but making it didn’t give me any joy. there’s not colour so it feels cold to me, i didn’t like drawing in this way, i feel like it works but i know theres work i’d rather make.

slide 7: which brings me onto this. this is work id rather make, and also work that i think is me trying to get those things that I'm striving for. i had way more fun with this work. i think i’m doing more fun things with colour, and i think it’s really exciting to be feeling like i like shape. when i started this course i felt like i really thought in lines, and that stunted me when we were working with illustrator or doing more shape driven work. whereas now i feel like there’s better stuff going on. these pieces aren’t perfect, and tbh aren’t probably that good but I'm so proud of them because i think this work is the most considered work I've made and i’m finally really getting to understand my practice and my goals for my work.

slide 8: i also want to quickly mention cop, because i think these pieces really helped me stylistically move on a bit. i’m really pleased i’ve pushed myself more into painting and stopped using the one pen that i did every drawing with. i’m definitely shying away from using figure, but when i do i think it’s a lot more thought through than before. i think the learning i got through my cop research and work was really helpful, because i feel like it kind of synthesised my studio practice work too. it was all about ugliness and the use/positive effects of disgust in art. i think when i realised that even though my work is about disgust, i still want subtle work that evokes a softer tone of voice, this idea kind of bled into all my other work. 

slide 9: i thought id include a few things id like to do more or get better at next year. this year i made this work for a twin peaks art show, and it’s okay but I'm pleased i did it because it was out of my comfort zone and i pushed myself to be confident and put my work forward, but also use a live brief as a way to be experimental. i want more personal work this year that reflects all the things I'm learning in studio practice. i think my personal work can revert back to ‘what i know’ sometimes, and i need to take all my good new habits and put them into my personal ideas and projects. i also just need to put myself out there more, I'm at a stage where i feel like i just need to throw myself into the things i love more and more. i think the more passions and hobbies i have, the more influence ill have, and the more ill be able to imbue into my work. like i love vegan cooking and i want a herb garden and i want more tattoos and to be involved in my feminist stuff, and more art stuff in leeds. i need to go into nature more, i think natural forms are becoming such a big part of my work, and for my own health and well being i need to take walks and picnics outside more. i want to be able to forage for berries and stuff, i need to just do it.

slide 10:

TIS: Testing

I had so much fun testing this project, just making stuff and trying out media and being messy and fun. I just feel really happy making this work because the aesthetic is my FAVOURITE thing, but also the messages in there are really my vibe too just in a soft, subtle way.

I can tell there's parts of this that aren't great, like the tops of the trees is kinda non-descript and the mountainy bits are a bit flat but I just love the feel going on. Like the vibe of two people lighting fires for each other with no description is nice to me. Also the colours!!!! I feel like I've never done any this cool with colour/gouache before. These smokey green skies and BRIGHT red fires and stark white moons just feel nice to me. This is obvs just sketchbook work so it's not perfect or tested or roughed out but I just had fun trying it out. I feel like these ideas aren't super fleshed out, but something about the raw 'i'm trying to communicate magic' vibe is really good. Also I feel like this work, because it's so me and so important to me, is comin out really different to my usual stuff. like not that i didn't care before, but there's just more love in there. this blog post wasn't really about anything just a quick chat.

TIS: First Sketchbooking

 

 

Recently, I start every new brief by figuring out how I draw things. I feel like it's a good way to start because I'm always questioning. I never assume 'I know how to draw trees' I always start 'how do you draw trees? what's the best way? what way suits my intent for this piece the best?' so I think that's good, but I'm not sure if it's a waste of time at all. I never feel confident enough to go straight into thumb nailing because I haven't even seen if I can draw all the visual paraphernalia I need, is all of it even relevant? I really like my trees so far, I feel like forests might be the way to go. 

I'm not sure whether I want figures in my work or animals, or should it just be a landscape? I'm very early on so I'm going to try stuff out first but I can't decide. I have little ideas in my head, like a dark forest with a clearing and it's a million of me, all plaiting each other hair and dancing and climbing trees. sometimes it's a woman trying to hold back all her dogs on a leash, sometimes it's women with wolves inside them, women devouring everything in sight. I feel like using a woman makes me feel more comfortable in knowing what I'm saying, how people will interpret it. when it's just a landscape, I feel like it might get lost on people. I know that isn't true, because last time everyone got the vibe without any characters, but I feel this piece is so personal and about my work and my practice, which is all about me and my feelings, maybe it needs a person there. idk. I think this treehouse is giving a vibe I really like, I loved painting with gouache. my final piece is definitely gunna be analogue, I miss doing that. I just think this piece, to me, gives me vibes of stranger things, spooky nights, childhood adventures and sleepovers, time alone, introversion, nature and mystery, subtle hints to a thing but not a big statement. idk if other people might just think 'it's a treehouse'. 

I'm loving this brief but it's really hard.

TIS: Understanding The Question

Coming Back To The Brief Because I Was Confused

I started my first sketchbook for The Illustrated Self but as I've been working and trying to figure out ideas and how to draw things, I was a bit confused of what the actual brief was again. was I trying to portray the right things I've picked out some of the key phrases from the presentations to try and figure that out.

• What is it that makes you the practitioner you are?
• The function of creativity
• Identify and make links between aspects of your personal and professional practice as well as consideration for the wider of context of the world around you
• How do you define quality and success for yourself? Be critical of your results. Your first idea/s might not be the most appropriate. Generate a variety of potential proposals, backed up by research to be discussed and critiqued at the first crit session.

Anthony Burrill

I think the 'function of creativity' is really key to this brief, and something I haven't addressed yet. I think the function of creativity is kind of what you can do with your creativity, what you aspire to make happen or make exist. For me, the function of my creativity/of my practice/of my work is very personal, I think a lot of the time I'm working through how I feel and what I want and sort of dealing with being part of the world. I've always felt very outsider, so it's my kind of way of being myself very obviously, maybe in hopes someone else will see it and feel the same way. It's a tool for making real interactions with people. I think people could like my work or think it's okay and not have this reaction, but I think that's the reaction I'm hoping for. it's like a smoke signal, like I'M HERE COME FIND ME. 

I think I'm trying to try and capture the things I think are special and worth holding onto, I think I get very frustrated by normal life and reality being not what I want so I try and find something more special where there maybe isn't anything. That's why everything I make is all about magical things and beauty and it's not all fake and made up, but a lot of it is. I think nature is the one real true thing I love to capture, and maybe real people as well a bit. Nature's that one thing that feels still so undiscovered and magical and mysterious and special and I love it, so it's always in there. 

These two pieces by Anthony Burrill really excited me because that's definitely a vibe I'm feeling. I just think life's too short to not chase what you want, and be exactly how you are, and find out as much as you can. why pretend you hate everything, why revel in bad feelings and negativity? why not just LOVE things???? weird.

lots of weird blog posts going on in this project. I enjoy this kind of thinking so it's fun for me, and making the work is fun because like how do you capture this in a piece of work omg???? so cool!! but I feel like reading these posts, they're gunna sound really pretentious or not make sense or just sound stupid? idk. gotta practice what you preach I guess.

Some Inspo

Just wanted to throw this onto my blog because it sums up some sort of feelings I've been having atm about what I want my work to be presenting. I love Savannah's spoken word poetry and this poem is basically about getting away from the idea that caring too much isn't 'cool' and that you can care too much in the first place. my work is all about caring, hedonism, appetite for life and experiences and everything she talks about in this poem. she says the 'cool kids' were always apathetic and pessimistic, whereas now they've vivacious and enthusiastic and invested and I think that's really true. 

all the people I look up to and think are successful and are loved and praised and wildly passionate and vulnerable. I try and be this way as much as possible and I still find it hard, but it's something I want in my life and my work. she says if everyone knows what you care the most about it's very easy to hurt you, and I think that's probably why it's so scary. idk this just made me think about all the stuff I really want to do but I'm too scared to because it would make me vulnerable. I don't know how you get past that really.

Personal Problem Atm

feeling like i'm a bit lost in what i want?

Sara Tepes

I've had a bit of a crisis atm, suddenly craving work that looks like this (digital painting, an oil painting aesthetic, all glossy and kind of realistic and full of tone and shadows and actual human face structure lmao). I'm not sure where it's come from, all of a sudden wanting to have work that's so different to mine. I'm really struggling to understand WHY I want this, and WHY this work appeals to me. Because looking at it, it's incredibly skilful but in terms of content it's just some pretty girls. WHY???

Jacqueline Deleon

This selection of artists are the ones that are really influencing me atm and I'm jealous of, so I've collected them together to try and figure out what's happening with my practice atm. they're all just pretty girl drawings???? I feel like these pieces seem to be more full of depth compared to my work, I think SO much in line that I feel like my work is very flat and 2D a lot of the time. Maybe it's the way these artists capture female faces and how 3D they are and there's more realness in this than my work. conceptually and style-wise, I feel like I'm doing interesting things and trying cool stuff so I feel like this work is more technically difficult to achieve than what I'm doing, but conceptually it isn't better than my work? I'm annoyed that I'm so obsessed with aesthetic all the time, because I feel like I make the best work when I address concept first then how aesthetics can support that concept, not 'ooo I love this style'. 

Kelsey J Beckett

As well as this, when I try and push myself to draw realistically (which is something I've never been good at or done often) I find it draining and not fun to do. if it's not enjoyable for me, why do it? and the finished piece is always quite bad, like I'd need to devote so much time to this to get to work that I'm proud of, so why am I so interested in it? maybe because my work is very simple, experimental, illustrative and I don't take ages on laboured pieces, maybe I miss that? maybe I miss feeling like my work is SKILFUL and hard to achieve and studied. maybe I should just draw outside more, draw from life more but not worry about style. 

Audra Auclair

I'm not really sure if there's any conclusion to this blog post I just needed to try and work through these feelings. I think there's definitely things I can learn from these artists, and parts of their practice I do admire. There's also parts that don't really fit my practice or how I like to work, that although I admire them aren't right for me. 

I think I'm definitely yearning to get better, to feel like my work is worth more and is more beautiful/skilful/something I don't know, so I need to figure out what that is. I think taking some more time on some pieces, doing some more drawing from life, playing around with colour and tone more might help. I also think the reason I like these artists has something to do with character, because of their consistent theme of drawings of women, so maybe investing more time in character could help me work through it. I do love character based work, and I think I haven't done that in a while so maybe I miss it. I think when I do draw characters/people I feel like I'm missing something great and my work is a bit, just and tbh. maybe more time invested in this and in thinking about this could help.